Saudis Say 4 Militants Killed in Raids
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - Saudi authorities announced Tuesday that four of the five militants killed during police raids a day earlier in the Saudi capital included the kingdom’s top terrorist and three other members of the al-Qaida terror group. Nice shooting, guys. Okay, now you can take over our seaports.

Prosecutors: Saddam OK’d Shiite Executions
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Saddam Hussein’s trial resumed Tuesday with the former leader’s defense attorneys ending a month-long boycott of the proceedings. When they asked the judge if they’d missed anything he replied, “Opening arguments, presentation of evidence and closing arguments, but you’re just in time for the sentencing and execution.”

Iran Says It Opposes Nuclear Weapons
TOKYO - A report by the U.N. nuclear watchdog agency shows there is no proof Iran’s nuclear program is aimed at producing nuclear weapons, Iran’s foreign minister said Tuesday in Japan. Right, and didn’t you guys recently say the Holocaust didn’t happen, either?

Rio’s Carnival Parade Pays Homage to Women
RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil - Thousands of plumed dancers kicked off a second night of parading Monday in Rio’s pre-Lenten carnival. The Porto da Pedra group opened the festivities with 3,720 dancers who delighted the 70,000 people packed into the Sambadrome stadium. Interesting homage — nothing like putting women in huge feathered headdresses, pasties, sequined thongs and high heels, and watching them jiggle all over to demonstrate your appreciation.