Only in Bushistan does it make sense to waive air pollution laws because gas prices are high. WTF does one have to do with the other? Yeah, I know, some obscure connection between cleaner “summer gasoline blends” and something something. Whatever. It’s just another flimsy excuse for Georgie to do what he wanted all along.
So what other initiatives that follow W-logic should we expect? How about:
- Enforcing a 7 p.m. curfew on Democrats to stop CIA leaks about secret prisons
- Barring Cindy Sheehan from Texas to stem illegal immigration
- Ordering an IRS audit of Kanye West to prevent hurricanes
- Deporting Michael Moore so Sunnis and Shiites in Iraq will throw down their arms
- Torturing detainees isolated at Guantanamo since 2001 to prevent future terror attacks (oh wait, they really do that!)
This quick list is just the beginning. Add your own examples of Bush reasoning now.
More tax breaks for oil companies so they can study more fuel efficient vehicles
Refocus public attention; bring back the draft.
Once you understand Bush’s and dick Cheney’s only goal was to steal as much money as possible, and could care less about everyone and everything else, then it all begins to make sense.
Stop science, we all know that too much knowledge is hindering swift decision making. Nuance is the invention of scholars, so abolish science and introduce Intelligent Design.
If that fails, simply edit scientific articles to comply with administration policiy. (Sorry, is already happening)
But it’s not just Bush. Here’s a list of quaint notions that define Repugs, sent from a friend:
What You Need To Believe To Be A Republican:
Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
Clinton.
Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush’s
daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him,
and a bad guy when Bush needed a “we can’t find Bin Laden” diversion.
Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.
A woman can’t be trusted with decisions about her own body, but
multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
without regulation.
The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches, while slashing veterans’ benefits and combat pay.
If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won’t have sex.
A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.
Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
health care to all Americans is socialism. HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.
Global warming and tobacco’s link to cancer are junk science, but
creationism should be taught in schools.
A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.
Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
Internet.
The public has a right to know about Hillary’s cattle trades, but
George Bush’s driving record is none of our business.
Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you’re a conservative radio host. Then it’s an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
Supporting ” Executive Privilege” for every Republican ever born,who will be born or who might be born (in perpetuity.)
What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the ’80s is irrelevant.
Let’s hope both the country and Justice Stevens survive the Bush regime.