From the Poor Man Institute:
Q: Is Markos Marsupialopolis gay, as Instapundit graciously refrained from implying?
A: No. This is a common misconception, fostered by Hollywood’s deliberate policy of putting out that gay cowboy movie around about the same time they were putting out all those damn Hobbit movies. Let’s clear this up once and for all: cowboys are gay. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. Hobbits, on the other hand, just like going on extended backpacking holidays with their live-in male gardeners, during which they exchange soulful and significant glances and cry and hug and say “oh, Sam!” in a way which, if they were cowboys, would be totally gay, but, seeing as they are hobbits, just totally isn’t. Then the gardener marries the girl from scene 2 who didn’t get any lines, and then Frodo, the confirmed bachelor, goes on a permanent boating holiday with a bunch of “elves”. Dead butch behavior if you ask me.
Q: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that all cowboys are gay?
A: Until someone can show me a hobbit cowboy, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.
Q: John Wayne?
A: Totally gay. You didn’t know that? I thought everybody knew that.
Q: Gene Autry?
A: Gay.
Q: Calamity Jane?
A: A dude.
Q: Butch Cassidy?
A: Gay. Oddly enough, though, the Sundance Kid was completely straight. The Wild West was a queer old place.
Q: Huh?
A: Huh?
Q: Wha’?
A: Wha’?
Q: Dude, I’m so lost. Why are we talking about gay cowboys, again?
A: Beats me. Say, can I interest you in a subscription to The New Republic?
Great satire!
Satire. Y-E-S ! ! !
But the larger question (other than the swiftboating by innuendo) is who gives a shit whether someone is gay, straight or what ever as long as they are not hypocritical by being a homophobe in public and gay behind closed doors.