Get out your tinfoil hats, ladies and gentlemen.We have incoming and it is a doozy. Via Wonkette and Bring It on, here are the facts:

• According to Project Censored, the U.S. military moved into Paraguay last summer: “Five hundred U.S. troops arrived in Paraguay with planes, weapons, and ammunition in July 2005, shortly after the Paraguayan Senate granted U.S. troops immunity from national and International Criminal Court (ICC) jurisdiction. Neighboring countries and human rights organizations are concerned that the massive air base at Mariscal Estigarribia, Paraguay is potential real estate for the U.S. military.”
• First Daughter Jenna Bush has recently returned from a 10-day visit to Paraguay. She went under the auspices of UNICEF, but reportedly met with the American ambassador, James Cason. She arrived Oct. 9, and was planning to stay about 10 days.
• President Bush has recently purchased nearly 100,000 acres of ranchland in Paraguay, the poorest country in South America. The source of this information is Prensa, a state-owned news service in Cuba, which is a bit dubious.

Whoah! Is President Bush afraid of a coup? Or maybe he has done something so heinous that he knows he’ll be exiled when it is revealed. So many possibilities.

If there’s any truth to it, I would just say adios, el presidente, and Paraguay ain’t far enough.