The chickenhawks are back. Rightwingers who never served in the military are puffing up their chests and squawking about Sen. John Kerry’s faux pas on military intelligence on Monday.

Kerry told a college crowd that if they didn’t study and get smart, they might grow up to become president and do something stupid like getting a great nation stuck in a senseless war. Kerry mangled the statement, however, and now the chickenhawk chorus is accusing Kerry of telling the students that if they do not pursue their education they could end up stuck in the military.

Of course, John Kerry went to college and served in the military, with distinction. He is, in fact and by definition, a hero.

Now would be a good time to refresh their memories about the military service, or rather, lack thereof, of their own glorious leaders:

• VP Dick Cheney – several deferments, by marriage and timely fatherhood.
• Karl Rove, occasional Deputy Chief of Staff and alleged full time smear artist, escaped the draft and did not serve
• Secretary of State and former NSA Condaleeza Rice – did not serve
• Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist – did not serve.
• Republican Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert – did not serve.
• Republican Former House Majority Leader Tom Delay – did not serve.
• [Comedian] Rush Limbaugh – did not serve
• Sean Hannity – did not serve
• Ann Coulter – did not serve
• Bill O’Reilly – did not serve

Also did not serve:

• White House Press Secretary Tony Snow
• RNC Chair Ken Mehlman
• White House chief of staff Josh Bolten
• Our favorite GOP 2008 presidential nominee, Newt Gingrich
• Not-my-America’s-Mayor Rudolph Giuliani
• Every Gop’s favorite Dem, Sen. Joe Lieberman
• Fox News anchor Brit Hume
• Fox News chief Roger Ailes

And as to Dear Leader himself, while men like Sen. Kerry went to Vietnam to fight for the United States, George W. Bush was laying about in Texas and Alabama, drinking, doing coke and chasing women.

Anyone who knows otherwise should prove it. A $50,000 reward has been available since September 2004 to anyone who could substantiate young Bush’s claim that he fulfilled his military service. Two other rewards, one for $10,000 and another for $1,000, have also never been collected.

When they swiftboat John Kerry and Rep. John Murtha over their genuine service records, they are swiftboathing all military heroes.