Abramoff, Congress, Election Coverage, Florida, Politics, Scandals
Never has it been more important for Republicans to vote partisan than this year. In race after race, Candidate A has resigned in shame and been replaced by Candidate B, but Candidate A’s name is still on the ballot.
If this were happening to Democrats, we’d have a problem. Democrats tend to actually pay attention when voting so if a ballot read, say, “Mark Foley,” we might flinch from touching the corresponding grimy spot on the screen. But Republicans don’t read the names anyway. They just look for the little “R” that follows, and viola!
This quality will be especially handy in these races:
Texas U.S. House District 22 – Voters will need to overlook the “Tom DeLay” part and write in another Repug instead.
Florida U.S House District 16 – Rebooblicans will need to steel themselves to ignore the name “Mark Foley,” relying on the “R” to supply them with Joe Negron.
Ohio U.S. House District 18 – Remember Ohioans, it’s not really Bob Ney, who plead guilty to conspiracy charges in the Jack Abramoff case too recently to be replaced on the ballot. C’mon, you can do it! Vote Ney!
Florida House Dist. 102 – Ralph Arza, though released from the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Facility in Miami on felony charges of interfering with a witness – specifically by calling his house in a drunken tirade and calling him a “nigger” and a “bitch” – won’t be up for re-election after all. It will be Arza’s name on the ballot but his votes will go to Eduardo Gonzalez.
Don’t let the names fool you, voters. Just look for the “R” on the label, and we can almost guarantee you’ll get exactly what you’re expecting.
Did I miss one? Leave a comment if there’s a similar race in your area.
Fucking Hell not again! This great democracy once again sits around the TV watching goons while great technolical debate goes on about how to acutally take a valid vote. Hell, passs out guns and the last one standing wins.
Seriously, here is the menu for the most important decade ahead that the USA ever faced:
A dumb ass nigger kid who studied Jihad in a Madras, named Hussein and has a muslim fucker father!
Or, a lying loud mouth ugly old whore bitch who cackles like a demon and is married to the best known woman masher and fucker in the free world – she want her turn at the Oral Orfice.
I wansnt finished…
Or a transvestite democrat doing drag as a republican who thinks because he was a POW can be a Commander-in-Chief…that is like saying, I can write, therefor I am Shakespear.
Or a fucking white asss moronic Mormon who wears magical underwear and is commited to gettng his heretical notion of Jesus back to SlatLake to rule the world.
Or an “Evangelical Christian”..shit,,armagedon is his goal if not to have everyone accept Jeus H Christ as their personal saviour. Shit man, if he is god, why the hell did he condem everyone to hell just because he had a snit over an apple.
Then finally, we have the old Perot type who sounds like the geeky asshole he is not. A wired freak who would have us fucked as a country in 30 days flat!
So once again, our democracy faces a crisis. Maybe we can rename us the OJ crowd and pull it off…but I doubt it.
Anyway, about the future of our kids and grand children. Hell, our parents were screwed up and we are already fucked so there is no future for anyone left. If you think I am skeptical, vote for one of thewe and watch your kids get screwed out of a life. Their first decision in kindergarten will be to define their sex without offending anyone. See what I mean about already screwed!
That’s all folks.