As a public service to help other women avoid becoming the next Mrs. Gov. Jim McGreevey or Mrs. Rev. Ted Haggard, there’s a new book and handy checklist. Bonnie Kaye has produced, “Is He Gay? A Checklist of Women Who Wonder.”
Editor’s note: Shouldn’t that be, “A Checklist FOR Women Who Wonder?”
Anyway, listen up if you have that nagging feeling hubby just isn’t all that into you. Or your best friend. Or your sister.
“The Gay Husband Checklist”
1. If your husband thinks you are a nymphomaniac or “pushy and aggressive” because you want sex twice a week.
2. If sexual activity steeply declines within the first few years of marriage.
3. You’re always more sexually aggressive than your husband.
4. If your husband is turned off by the thought of touching your vaginal area or performing oral sex on you.
5. If his best friend is gay.
6. If he hangs out in gay bars.
7. If he enjoys watching gay porn movies and surfing gay porn Web sites.
8. If he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men.
9. If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks.
She left out number 10, but I think it’s, “If your husband has seen Brokeback Mountain six times but you’ve seen it eight.”
I have to ask about numbers 6 and 7. Can you say, “Duh?”
Hi, my name is april and i was wondering.Can it also be a sign , if your husband is gay, if he says’ ” I don’t care how big you get, it doesn’t matter, your not fat.” My husband seems to not care how fat i am getting. My friend told me” you know he said that, because if hes gay, he won’t care how you look becuase hes attracted to gay men”.Also he doesn’t seem to want to touch my vaginal area saying ” No, i don’t like it, my hand will smell.” My love life is like a joke right now, but i am the one not laughing.
One thing positive about searching these websites, I know I’m not alone. Do I have any “real” proof that my husband is gay? Some say yes, some say no. My heart goes out to you, April, and all the rest. I keep trying to tell myself that I’m being paranoid. I just don’t want to admit that this is real. Not only does my husband not care about me getting fat, he spends his days on the phone with another man. Sometimes, they call each other 15 times in a day. Bear in mind that they also work together and are both working away from home(out of state) and stay in the same hotel. This guy is not the first, although I managed to ignore the first one. My husband is gone sometimes for months at a time on his job, and when he comes home he wants a hot meal, a kiss, a hug,a drink and otherwise to be left alone. He sits up all night waiting for me to go to sleep before he will come to bed. When I try to talk to him about our sex life (or lack thereof) he blames me. He uses excuses like , well I knew you worked hard and were tired, or I thought you weren’t feeling well. Obviously, I’ve been sick and tired for years, according to him. Does all this mean that he is gay, I don’t know. But I don’t know what else to think.
April,
First of all wash your crotch rocket. That is so gross. Perhaps clean yourself.
Next you should rent some gay porn and watch it with him. See how excited he gets.
First of all, let me say something to this disrespectful person, Estela, That dose not means that she had and odor just because she told you what he said. You are very insulting to a person who’s already in pain. Your comment isn’t funny to me. You should really check yourself.
To April,
Sorry to hear that you have such an sorry excuss of a husband, what I mean by that is men act in a way that some times make us think all kind of things and feel a kind of ways but the bottom line is because we give to much of ourselves to them and we expect them to give back to us what we give,but they are not. Start focusing more on you and your happiness, find new habbies, go out to dinner alone sometimes and do more things on your own without him. What I am trying to say is when you find more independence you will loose more of him. So if he is gay,by the time you find out you will be so stress or high blood presure or what ever, but if you find peace you’ve found all that matters,
God bless you. Peace
9. If he brags about gay men complimenting him on his looks
no true at all i told my girl friend that and all it means is that gay man have good taste if a gay man finds you good looking a woman would find you even better looking….
number
8.he is excessively homophobic, mocking and imitating other gay men.
i mock gay people some times/imitating them does not mean I’m gay what so ever…
number 6. If he hangs out in gay bars. yea i hung out at a gay bar with a friend for him not to think I’m homophobic i don’t hate on different people
all the stuff listed does not mean i’m gay at all 100% straight male :-) came to this website cause it was on tv and wanted to make a few things nice and clear
and for any of you lady’s that want to speak with me feel free to Ivanacosta1985@hotmail.com im a very good listener
Ivan, being a good listener is #11.
My husband of 13 years is suddenly wanting a divorce. Over the past couple of months he continually has talked about his new found friend, which is a male. immediately after I was served papers he changed the locks on our house so I could not enter. I had to make an appointment with him to get my clothes. We set up an appointment on the 1st and when I walked in he had his new best friend sitting at my kitchen table. When I introduced myself to his friend he shook my hand and bowed. His friend did not have a car at the house so my husband must have picked him up. When I left I saw them down the road eating at waffle house together. My gut feeling is he is gay. I found a few months ago a gift to him from a man in his office. Should I have concern?
Can anyone help me try to understand this…my husband was a virgin until 28 and his first time having sex was with me but he got so soft that the condom fell off. A year later and we still can’t have sex bc the condom falls off. He is hard when we kiss and touch and then as soon as we try sex he gets soft. He stays hard and has an orgasm when I touch him with my hands but can’t have intercourse. I asked him if he was gay many times (he’s a military guy and doesn’t look or act gay) but he was brought up as a Baptist and his family is conservative in their views and are almost fundamentalist with their religion. I thought he was in deep denial about being gay but he swears he’s not. He gets an erection while looking at me and touching me so I thought he was straight. He is constantly looking at sports (guys only) which had me thinking he was looking at the guys but he swears he is totally 100% straight and thinks its gross. I’m so confused. I don’t want to waste my life with someone who is deep in the closet. My question to all the men is…is it possible to lose an erection due to sex but be able to keep one with hand play and still be straight? he says he’s afraid of getting me pregnant but in the past he said he’d love it if i was pregnant :S A fear of pregnancy wouldn’t prevent an erection everytime would it? please help
also, he doesn’t touch my vagina ever but likes my butt. I’m not unattractive and I always try to look and smell nice for him. He’s clean of all diseases, had been tested recently for an application, so it’s not like he’s afraid of giving me a disease…i really don’t know what to think