GOP Debate: White Guys in Black Suits

In what promises to be a quadri-annual event, a group of white guys ranging in age all the way from their 50s to their 70s met recently in Manchester, N.H. to model black suits and determine which tie color — red or red patterned — works best with a white shirt.

The men claimed to typify the entire country — even females and non-Caucasians — yet hailed from mostly Western and Midwestern states, including Colorado, Kansas, Arizona, Arkansas, California, and Texas. Eastern seaboard states including Virginia, Massachutahmormonland, and New York were also represented.

Although no clear winner was declared, the consensus was that the wide diversity of white guys in black suits offered a fresh direction for white guys in black suits throughout the entire country, even those who don’t belong to the club or play golf.


  • June 6, 2007 - 7:11 am | Permalink

    Thanks, Trish, for highlighting an oft-overlooked demographic in the United States — white guys in black suits. What with all the illegal immigrants pouring in, the race-mixing going on and the rise of upppity women in American society, white guys in black suits have become an increasingly oppressed minority and their habitat has been reduced to a few square miles of real estate in Washington, D.C. Despite their increasing marginalization, however, they remain a dangerous subspecies capable of doing great harm out of ignorance, meanness or loyalty to failed ideologies.

  • June 6, 2007 - 8:11 pm | Permalink

    Black, white, plaid, striped…It doesn’t matter what color they wear–They’re all nothing but EMPTY suits.

  • BigPhatJay
    June 7, 2007 - 1:36 pm | Permalink

    Empty suits?? Please. Those suits are so stuffed with ego and cash that I’m surprised a single photo can capture them all together.

  • Greg
    July 28, 2007 - 10:55 am | Permalink

    Some of the interesting questions during a YouTube session for hypocrites…er…uh…Democrats could center on the climate debate.

    Why is Al Gore’s utility bill ~2000.00 a month? Why does Gore have a carbon footprint at least 10 times the average person’s? All the Clintons and Gores, (and the Bonos, Madonnas) of the world seem to get a free pass for their hypocrisy from supposedly intelligent people. Let’s all hold hands and sing “We are the world” while the “Liberals”, “Socialists” (sorry for the profanity) and “Democrats” (sorry again) pull the wool over everyone’s eyes.

    As for “White guys in black suits”, Yo, they beat some little “thug” wearing his momma’s stockings on his head who’s only interested in gettin paid and gettin that “holla back”. Think having one of your “boyz” in office would be “tight”?

    Yo “Democrats” “iz tryin ta” “git paid” like all the rest.

    Once again the “Democrats” (oops, sorry) prove they are the embodiment of BS, hypocrisy and disingenuous pandering, among many other things.

    IF, and this is a big IF, you “Democrats” are objective then prove it. Working together doesn’t involve partisan venom like yours. We can all “play dat” Yo.

  • Andy
    July 30, 2007 - 8:33 am | Permalink

    “Good” point, Greg. I must have missed the Democrats’ plethora of gangsta candidates somehow. Thinking back, yeah, Obama probably shouldn’t wear that stocking on his head everywhere, and should pull his pants up. Get a sense of humor, then try again.

  • Mike
    July 30, 2007 - 10:47 am | Permalink

    What’s with the racism. You hate white people or something? Get a life loser.

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  • Andy
    July 31, 2007 - 7:52 am | Permalink

    Note to Mike: comebacks have more impact when they relate in some way, no matter how tenuous, to reality. Just something to keep in mind.

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