Republican Florida Lawmaker Bob “Blow Job” Allen Being Squeezed Out by GOP

For Florida State Rep. Bob Allen (R-Merritt Island), denial is not just a river in Egypt. Allen is out on bail on charges that he offered a male undercover officer $20 for oral sex. He has spent this time offering explanations for his behavior as varied as “just checking the bathroom three times because I helped secure funding for the park” to “I was afraid of the guy because he’s black and everyone knows black people are dangerous.”

Well, poor Bob has come up with another totally ridiculous explanation, this one for why he is being stripped of all his committee assignments in the upcoming legislative session.

…because [House Speaker Marco] Rubio wants to give younger lawmakers the chance at leadership positions.

Allen…said he was told that House leaders “wouldn’t do anything to hurt my defense.” “I know the Speaker has talked about giving other younger legislators a chance,” Allen said. “It’s tough to gain experience in the eight years before term limits, and some senior members might serve in another position.”

Riiiight. But others in the Republican wing of the Florida State House wish Allen would not only show up missing from committees, but go away altogether.

Meanwhile, [GOP Chairman Jim] Greer told reporters Tuesday that Allen should consider the best interests of the GOP, as well as his family and constituents, in deciding whether to resign.

“I’m not going to say what’s in the best interest of the party or ask him to step down or resign,” Greer said. “I’m just asking him, as of today, to consider the best interest of the party.”

So far Allen hasn’t considered the best interests of anyone but himself in obtaining homosexual sex, so why would the GOP expect him to consider the best interests of his party? Not only is Allen not leaving quietly, he’s attempting to call in a few political IOUs. After all, one thing all Republicans have on another in abundance is dirt.

When told of Greer’s comments, Allen said he stood by Greer during the “innuendos and nasty politics” hurled during Greer’s campaign for the party chairmanship. “I know Jim appreciated that and I hope he hasn’t lost that memory,” Allen said…

“I intend to show up at the session as a man who is free of this charge and all of this ridiculous politics and be able to get back to what they want me doing during the session,” Allen said. “I don’t think I’ll be bogged down with this during the session.”

We presume that none of those Nile River crocodiles will be shedding any of their famous tears if it doesn’t work out quite that way.

3 Responses »

  1. […] The latest on Bob Allen: Blast Off! – More fun with Blowin’ Bob Allen, Grassroots Brevard – Allen compares Rubio to Castro, still won’t resign, Grassroots Brevard – Bob Allen Loses Committee Assignments, March on Politics – Rubio Says Allen Can’t “Effectively Serve,” Pensito Review – Republican Florida Lawmaker Bob “Blow Job” Allen Being Squeezed Out by GOP, Smashed Frog – Bob Allen Grovels, and Talk To Me – Bob Allen derailed. […]

  2. […] For some reason, the authorities didn’t buy his “blowjob as a self-defense technique” story, and he was brought up on prostitution charges that would prove disastrous for his political career. But Allen wasn’t quite done displaying his master excuse-making skills just yet. You see, the real reason he was being stripped of all his committee assignments had nothing to do with the prostitution arrest — it was to give younger lawmakers the chance to serve in leadership positions. […]

  3. […] For some reason, the authorities didn’t buy his “blowjob as a self-defense technique” story, and he was brought up on prostitution charges that would prove disastrous for his political career. But Allen wasn’t quite done displaying his master excuse-making skills just yet. You see, the real reason he was being stripped of all his committee assignments had nothing to do with the prostitution arrest — it was to give younger lawmakers the chance to serve in leadership positions. […]

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