Come out, come out, wherever you closeted Republican hypocrites are! Oct. 11 is National Coming Out Day, a time to resolve to live openly as you are. And, in the case of some Republican politicians, to quit trying to make homosexuality go away by legislating it out of existence.

You can even find help at www.comeout.org. There, you’ll get answers to such questions as “Does the Bible really say gay people go to hell?” “Can you turn me straight?” and “Does God make mistakes?” (Hint: all the answers are “no.”)

If only former New Jersey Republican Governor James E. McGreevey, former Florida Republican Representative Mark Foley, and former evangelist Reverend Ted Haggard had come out sooner, who knows how many wives, pages, and victims of homophobia would have been spared.

So come on, Larry, come out! And while we’re at it, let’s not forget to invite:

• Former Christian Coalition head Ralph Reed (yeah I know he’s married but let’s get real)
• South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham (not married but ditto on the get real part)
• Kentucky Senator Mitch McConnell (labeled “My Old Kentucky Homo” by many in the state)
• Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice (who owns a house with her long-time female “friend”)
• Chief of Staff Josh Bolton (BFF with skank Bo Derrick — nuff said)

Who’d I miss?