Andy Borowitz needs to come to Florida. His parody column isn’t a spoof here â€” it’s reality.
Amid a growing belief that there is no way the Democrats can blow the 2008 presidential election, Democratic National Committee chief Howard Dean sought today to reassure the party faithful that the party was â€œdoing everything in its powerâ€ to uphold its losing tradition.
At a top-level summit called â€œDefeat: 2008â€ being held in Boston, the former Vermont Governor gave a rousing speech to concerned Democrats, bringing his audience to his feet by vowing, â€œI can assure each and every one of you, we will find a way to screw this up.â€
Actually they already did. And while Democrats don’t acknowledge that banning candidates from campaigning in Florida to punish the state for moving its primary date is the dumbest thing they’ve ever done, the Republicans do.
Sure Republicans head into 2008 with an unpopular president, an unpopular war and no consensus on their best presidential candidate. But like manna from heaven, the Democratic presidential candidates’ boycott of Florida’s Jan. 29 primary has state GOP leaders giddy.
“I cannot imagine any candidate for president ever signing (such a pledge), but they have,” a beaming state Republican chairman Jim Greer told party leaders at the Presidency IV convention Sunday in Orlando…
“Our party, because of what the Democrats have done, has an opportunity that it has never had before…” Greer said. “Rules are important to any organization, but no one should be a prisoner of the rules.”
Even a Republican makes sense every now and then. Or, as Borowitz imagined it:
â€œFolks, letâ€™s not forget, weâ€™re Democrats,â€ Mr. Dean said. â€œIf thereâ€™s a way to lose, we will find it.â€