It was, I suppose, predictable that professional bloviator Bill O’Reilly would get his panties in a twist over author J.K. Rowling’s (yawn) revelation that a character in the Harry Potter novels was gay. Rowling told an audience at Carnegie Hall last week that the headmaster of Hogwarts Academy, Albus Dumbledore, was gay.

Despite the fact that Rowling offended my English major’s sensibilities by telling something outside the novel (”So, Mr. Twain, what career track did Huck follow when he grew up?”), O’Reilly is trying — very hard, apparently — to cast Rowling as a “provocateur” who is pushing “gay indoctrination” by saying a character in her novels is gay, even though he apparently never did anything gay-like in the novels. Here’s Bill at his usual, courtesy of Media Matters:

O’REILLY: “Personal Story” segment tonight: Perhaps the most successful book series in the world is Harry Potter, who battles wizards and the occult, stuff like that. Author J.K. Rowling has sold an incredible 350 million books worldwide with seven Potter volumes.

Now reports say Miss Rowling has outed — one of her characters is gay, which is causing some concern. With us now to analyze: Tina Jordan, senior editor at Entertainment Weekly.

Dumbledore — I don’t know anything about this Potter stuff, so, you know, you can kick my butt here if you want to.

JORDAN: I’ll kick your butt. You’re the last person in America not to read the books, I bet.

O’REILLY: Listen, I have a lot to read and Dumbledore and all of this. But here’s what I don’t understand, because I did study up on the story. If J.K. Rowling wanted to make the character gay, why didn’t he just make the character gay — she just make the character gay rather than going to Carnegie Hall in New York — and you were in the audience –

JORDAN: Yes, I was.

O’REILLY: — and announcing that he’s gay. I don’t know — I don’t get the strategy. Is it just publicity?

JORDAN: I don’t think it’s publicity. And first of all, I can’t speak for her because I didn’t talk to her about this, but she made several things very clear. And he’s — the fact that he was gay, giving that away in an early volume might possibly have compromised a later plot point.

O’REILLY: OK, but here’s what I’m talking about. Why have a gathering of Potter aficionados and then drop the gay bomb on them? Why do that?

JORDAN: Somebody asked the question. She answered the question.

O’REILLY: The question was: Is Dumbledore gay?

JORDAN: No. The question was along the lines of: Did Dumbledore ever find true love? I’m paraphrasing.

O’REILLY: True love.

JORDAN: Yeah.

O’REILLY: Well, she could have said no or yes. She didn’t have to say he’s, you know, got a condo in Key West. You know what I mean?

JORDAN: Well, that’s true, but –

O’REILLY: You know, why did she do it? She did it to provoke. I think this is a provocateur. This woman’s a provocateur.

JORDAN: Well, she’s a very smart woman.

O’REILLY: I think she’s a provocateur.

JORDAN: But let me say this. One thing she did say on Friday night was that the books were a prolonged plea for tolerance. And that’s a direct quote.

O’REILLY: OK, and that’s a good thing, right?

JORDAN: Right.

O’REILLY: Now, many parents are worried in America about the gay agenda and indoctrination of their children to see homosexuality in a certain way. That debate is raging all over the country. This now becomes part of that debate, does it not?

JORDAN: But aren’t those parents the same parents who are refusing to let their children read these books for other reasons?

O’REILLY: I don’t know if there’s — yeah, there are parents who don’t want the wizards and witches and the occult stuff.

JORDAN: That’s right.

O’REILLY: I don’t know if they’re the same. I think that’s a narrow focus group whereas I think the gay indoctrination thing is broader. So, I think that, here now, there is even more controversy in these books because of this statement that Miss Rowling made.

JORDAN: But I think that’s a shallow argument. I think that kids are being brought up by and large today to tolerate. I think that, by and large, parents do preach acceptance to their kids, you know.

O’REILLY: In some areas, they do. They don’t want indoctrination, though, and I understand that.

JORDAN: But indoctrination’s a very strong word. Listen, we all know gay people whether we know it or not.

O’REILLY: Yeah, but do you want your 7-year-old to have a book called Heather Has Two Mommies, and a lot of American parents do not. But anyway, this book — this is aimed at adolescents, right?

JORDAN: Right.

O’REILLY: Now, Dumbledore is not overtly gay in the book, right?

JORDAN: Absolutely not.

O’REILLY: So, you wouldn’t know whether he was gay or not.

JORDAN: And in fact, you don’t know anything about the sex lives –

O’REILLY: Of any of them.

JORDAN: — of any of the teachers. No.

O’REILLY: Although those wizards, I’m very suspicious about what they’re doing in their spare time.

JORDAN: Well, they are magic you know.

O’REILLY: So, I think, this is my conclusion is that J.K. Rowling is a provocateur, did it on purpose, and now is just going to let all hell break loose.

Last word?

JORDAN: I think that if she makes people think, if she makes — if you realize that there are gay people out there, we all know them, you know –

O’REILLY: And now we know another one.

JORDAN: It doesn’t make a difference.

O’REILLY: And now we know another one: Dumbledore. Thank you for coming in, Miss Jordan.

O’Reilly does for gays what he did for blacks not long ago — reduces them to stereotypes. Guess what, Bill, not everyone in Key West is gay and there’s no such thing as a “gay bomb.” And it would appear that the only indoctrination going on is your spreading of the message of intolerance. To read more of O’Reilly’s mad ramblings, go here.