Change Management theory for a perfect world

change vt., to put or take (a thing) in place of something else; substitute for, replace with or transfer to another of a similar kind (to change one’s clothes, to change jobs)

Barak Obama started it by saying he had the audacity to do it. Hillary Clinton says she’s been doing it for 30 years already, and John Edwards says he’s the only one who knows the best way to do it to benefit the average Joe. But when Mitt Romney started saying it, you knew it was just over for change. Poor change is now the most over-used and most meaningless word in the campaign for the presidency.

It’s just the word du jour, the phrase o’ the moment, an iota for Iowa, a mantra for Manchester.

The problem with change is, it’s inevitable. Short of a quickie constitutional amendment orchestrated by Karl Rove, the Worst President Ever will leave office next January, leaving a slime trail of abuse, arrogance and excess in his wake. And whether (heaven forfend!) a Republican or (praise Jesus!) a Democrat swears on the Bible to uphold what’s left of the Constitution, there will be some kind of change.

So what do the candidates mean by change? Nothing. It’s just the word du jour, the phrase o’ the moment, an iota for Iowa, a mantra for Manchester. It plays on the campaign trail because the news scribblers and talking heads dutifully repeat it every time it’s said, the crowds clap for it and the candidates can all pronounce it.

But it doesn’t mean anything. Come next January, not much will have changed, except more soldiers will have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economy will probably suck even worse than it does now, the housing crisis will be worse still and Britney Spears or her sister still will probably be making headlines.

Fast forward to 2010, and there’s a slim chance that we will be in the process of withdrawing our troops from Iraq, the economy will likely still suck and the United States will still be on the bottom of the world’s popularity list, no matter who gets elected.

My point here is that the change meme is so over before it even starts that if the candidates continue to hammer on it, we should all just boycott the election and let Dennis Kucinich win by default. Now that would herald some real change.