That I find this story so hilarious probably says more about me than the cross-dressing federal judge in question, but as they say these days, it is what it is. The punch line is probably the best part.
[Federal Judge Robert] Somma worked in private practice for years in Boston before he was appointed to the bench by President Bush in December 2004.
Yes, the fact that Bush appointed him as a federal bankruptcy judge does crack me up, but let’s start at the beginning.
Somma’s Mercedes-Benz E320 sedan hit a pick-up truck from behind about 11:29 p.m. on Feb. 6, the police report said. No one was hurt.
Somma, who lives in Newbury, Mass., fumbled in his purse for his driver’s license before handing it to the officer who later arrested him, the police report shows.
“He had a difficult time locating his license in his purse. He passed over it multiple times before removing it,” officer Paul J. Thompson wrote in his report.
The officer offered no other details with regard to the judge’s attire or accessories. Nor would representatives of the Manchester Police Department or the city solicitor’s office, which worked out the negotiated plea agreement with Somma’s lawyer…
But lots of other people did offer those details, of which Audrey Hepburn would have been proud.
When authorities removed him from the vehicle, they said he wore a black women’s cocktail dress, fishnet stockings and high heels.
But in his mug shot, the judge appears to be wearing blue eye shadow. Way to wreck a really chic look, Robert.
And where, you might ask, was the judge going that night dressed that way?
Somma told police he had been at the Breezeway Pub where he had one gin and tonic about two hours earlier, the police report reveals. He later said he drank two gin and tonics.
The Breezeway Pub, at 14 Pearl St., bills itself as “New Hampshire’s favorite gay and alternative bar,” according to its web site.
The arresting officer reported Somma smelled of alcohol, slurred his speech and fell backwards against the door frame while getting out of his car.
The Boston-based judge chose the bar in question, according to local rumor, because his wife, Wendy, was out of town and no one knew him in New Hampshire. Sounds like Wendy is pretty cool, though.
“I suspect that he will not be interested in talking to anyone from the newspaper, and I’m his wife,” said a woman who answered the telephone at the judge’s home yesterday. She referred media calls to Gary H. Wente, chief administrative officer for the First Circuit Courts.
Somma showed his sense of style to the end. He phoned in his resignation from a vacation spot in the Caribbean. If I were him, I think I’d just stay there.