I’m used to receiving scam spam from Nigerian con men who must think I have rocks for brains. Occasionally, they’ll show some glimmer of creativity by putting a different spin on the same old scam. But this time they went too far — they tried to get me to believe that FBI Director Robert Mueller was personally handling my Nigerian case so I won’t get scammed. Really:

ROBERT MUELLER III
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION (FBI) WASHINGTON D.C
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION SEEKING TO WIRETAP INTERNET

We believe this notification meets you in a very good state of mind and health. The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Washington, D.C in conjunction with some other relevant Investigation Agencies here in the United states of America have recently been informed through our Global Intelligence Monitoring Network that you presently have a transaction going on with the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) as regards your over-due contract/inheritance funds which was fully endorsed in your favor accordingly.

In addition, be informed that we recently had a meeting with the Minister of Finance in Nigeria, in the person of Hon. Dr. Usman Shamsudeen, Prof. Chukwuma Charles Soludo and Mr. John O. Aboh along with some of the top officials of the ministry regarding your case and they made us to understand that your file has been held in abase depending on when you personally come for the claim. They also made us to understand that the only problem they are facing right now is that some unscrupulous element are using this project as an avenue to scam innocent people off their hard earned money by impersonating the Executive Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN).

We were also informed of a lady with the name Mrs. Joan C. Bailey from OHIO who has already contacted them and also presented all the necessary documentations evidencing your claim purported to have been signed personally by you prior to the release of your part payment valued at about US$8,000,000.00 (Eight Million United States Dollars), but the Central Bank office did the wise thing by insisting on hearing from you personally before they go ahead on wiring your fund to the Bank information which was forwarded to them by the above named Lady so that the main reason why they contacted us is to assist them in making the investigations.

We were further informed that we should warn our dear citizens who must have been informed of this payment which was awarded to them from the Central Bank of Nigeria, to be very careful prior to these irregularities so that they don’t fall victims to this ugly circumstance. And should in case you are already dealing with anybody or office claiming to be from the Central Bank of Nigeria, you are further advised to STOP further contact with them in your best interest and then contact immediately the real office of the Minister of Finance and office of the Governor, Central Bank of Nigeria only with the below information accordingly:
NAME: Hon. Dr. Usman Shamsudeen
EMAIL: honshamsudeenusman@minister.com
Governor’s Email: private2profsoludo@accountant.com

NOTE: In your best interest, any message that doesn’t come from any of the above email addresses should not be replied and should be disregarded accordingly for security reasons. Meanwhile, we will advise that you contact the Honorable Minister or the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria immediately with the above email addresses and request that they attend to your payment file as directed, so as to enable you receive your contract/Inheritance fund accordingly.

To this effect, you are required to reconfirm and authenticate your given particulars below for certainty and onward processing and release of your funds as we may not be held liable for any wrong payment.
YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS:
YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBER:

All modalities have already been worked out even before you were contacted and note that we will be monitoring all your dealings with them as you proceed so you don’t have anything to worry about. All we require from you henceforth is an update so as to enable us be on track with you and the Central Bank of Nigeria. Without wasting much time, we will want you to contact them immediately with the above email addresses so as to enable them attend to your case accordingly without any further delay as time is already running out.

In case you need any more information in regard to this notification, feel free to get back to us so that we can brief you more as we are here to guide you during and after this project has been completely perfected and you have received your contract/Inheritance fund as stated.

Thank you very much for your anticipated co-operation in advance as we earnestly await your urgent response to this matter.

Best Regards,
Robert S. Mueller III
Federal Bureau of Investigation
J. Edgar Hoover Building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue,
NW Washington, D.C.

Thanks, Bob!