Everybody! Stop what you’re doing and go check your doors! Now! Make sure they are closed and locked. And some nails would be good too.

“I’m like, OK, God, if there is an open door for me somewhere, this is what I always pray, I’m like, don’t let me miss the open door,” [Gov. Sarah] Palin said in an interview with Fox News on Monday. “And if there is an open door in ‘12 or four years later, and if it is something that is going to be good for my family, for my state, for my nation, an opportunity for me, then I’ll plow through that door.”

On second thought, just brick over the opening. We can’t take any chances.