Tiny Bubbles of Purity: RNC to Meet in Obama’s Hawaii

HawaiiRemember after the 2008 Democratic primary finally ended and candidate Obama took the family to Hawaii for a little vacay? Remember how the Republicans labeled him “elitist” for doing so? Let me refresh your memory, just in case.

TNR’s Michael Crowley noted:

I know he grew up [in Hawaii] and all. But if Obama’s being smeared as a highfalutin celebrity who is somehow “other” and distant from the American heartland, is Hawaii really the ideal vacation destination? It sounds trivial but such things can resonate…

I might have counseled a nice cottage beside some Illinois lake with a wholesome name…

Even ABC’s Cokie Roberts chimed in.

I know his grandmother lives in Hawaii and I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place. He should be in Myrtle Beach, and, you know, if he’s going to take a vacation at this time.

So when it was recently reported that a wingnut Republican national committeeman named James Bopp, Jr. from Indiana is proposing a so-called “purity test” for GOP candidates at the RNC’s winter meeting, we were surprised to learn where the event will take place. No, it won’t be at some nice cottages beside an Illinois lake with a wholesome name, or even Myrtle Beach, S.C. No my friends, the RNC will try to figure out how to keep even more people out of its odious party in none other than Honolulu. You know, as in Hawaii.

Actually, it wouldn’t matter where this particular discussion took place. In a leaked memo, Bopp called for the party to only fund candidates who support at least seven of the following idiotic positions. If it can be shown that someone violated more than three of these tenets, the money pipe will turn righty-tighty, not lefty-loosey.

1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill. [Editor’s note: And pretty much everything George W. Bush ever did since both the size of government and the national debt swelled under him.]

(2) We support market-based health care reform and oppose Obama-style government run healthcare. [Editor’s note: Because that’s worked really well up to now.]

(3) We support market-based energy reforms by opposing cap and trade legislation. [Editor’s note: Because that’s worked really well up to now.]

(4) We support workers’ right to secret ballot by opposing card check. [Editor’s note: Or to put it another way, we’re against unions so if you have any in your district, you might want to pick Number 4 as your tenet to violate.]

(5) We support legal immigration and assimilation into American society by opposing amnesty for illegal immigrants. [Editor’s note: Because we’re just really anti-immigrant but phrasing it this way dolls it up.]

(6) We support victory in Iraq and Afghanistan by supporting military-recommended troop surges. [Editor’s note: Unless that’s what Obama supports, and then we’re against it.

(7) We support containment of Iran and North Korea, particularly effective action to eliminate their nuclear weapons threat. [Editor’s note: Someone please let the Republicans know this does not differentiate them from Democrats.]

(8) We support retention of the Defense of Marriage Act. [Editor’s note: So if any gay people want to be Republicans, just forget about it.]

(9) We support protecting the lives of vulnerable persons by opposing health care rationing, denial of health care and government funding of abortion. [Editor’s note: We only support denying health care to women who want an abortion.]

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership. [Editor’s note: Especially the right to bear arms at presidential town halls.]

I like the idea of a test to get Republican funding. After all, only the ideologically pure, like Myrtle Beach’s own Gov. Mark Sanford, who probably agrees with every one of these ideas, should be able to share Republican booty. And the more of such morons the money gets wasted on, the better for our team. Assuming, that is, that they have any money left after their elitist, exotic, highfalutin, other, distant from the American heartland trip to Hawaii.

2 Comments

  • November 30, 2009 - 4:07 pm | Permalink

    To some republicans/conservaties hypocrisy doesn’t matter. Number 11 on their list should be a pledge to be honest in their words and deeds, but it’ll never happen because they have a culture of lying to promote their ideas no matter who it hurts.

  • Bamboo Harvester
    December 1, 2009 - 2:14 am | Permalink

    Translation ;

    Repuke nazi Committee to meet in Hawaii.

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