Watch Out Carrie Prejean, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Is Even Homophobier Than Thou

Lauren Ashley
Lauren Ashley

This is more than likely a publicity ploy, but, okay, we’ll bite. Lauren Ashley, the reigning Miss Beverly Hills, has made news by taking a position on gay marriage that is well to the right of views expressed by former Miss California USA, Carrie Prejean:

“The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white,” Ashley told Pop Tarts.

“I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.”

At least Ashley is consistent. Most Christians view withholding gays’ civil rights as sufficient penalty for their abominable sins, but, as Ashley points out, God loves gay people but hates their sin so much that he says they must be put to death.

Instead of spouting off about the motes in the eyes of others, Lauren Ashley may want to consider the beam in her own eye. If she has ever eaten ham, lobster or shrimp, she, too, has committed an abomination equally as heinous as being gay. Ditto if she has ever worn pants, read her horoscope, burned incense, behaved haughtily, made trouble, lied or cheated — if she has ever done any of these things, she is just as hellbound as the poofiest poufter.

(And we’d need to see a citation for the verses in the Bible that describe marriage as being “between a man and a woman.” If that’s true, Father Abraham, the polygamist progenitor of Judaism, Christianity and Islam is baking in hell right now, as are other polygamist figures in the Bible, including Moses and Jacob and the kings David, Saul and Solomon. among others.)

What makes this all the more interesting, of course, is that Lauren Ashley is not Miss Topeka, home city of the “God Hates Fag” church. She represents Beverly Hills, the hometown of Hollywood’s liberal elite — a town of 35,000 that shares its eastern border with the city of West Hollywood, one of the gayest precincts in the world.

Not surprisingly then, Ashley says she knows tons of gay people. “I have a lot of friends that are gay,” she says, “and … I have a lot of friends who have different views, and we share our views together.” Then, despite having just pointed out that the Bible says gays should be killed, she adds, “There’s no hate between me and anyone.”

Yup, sorry gay friends of Lauren Ashley, nothing personal but the Bible says you’re going to have to be executed, after which your blood will be drained and poured all over your corpse.

Love ya — mean it! (Oh, and when they kill you, can I have all your stuff?)

Ashley will compete in the Miss California USA pageant in November, assuming she keeps her title until then. She is vying for the crown currently held by Nicole Johnson, who was elevated from runner-up last June after Prejean was fired for breach of contract related to the multiple sex tapes she’d made in two years earlier, when she was 20.

No worries about sex tapes starring Lauren Ashley popping up anytime soon, however. She says she plans to remain celibate until she is married.

3 Comments

  • Nikolai
    February 24, 2010 - 1:47 pm | Permalink

    Isn’t that old testament? Is Lauren Ashley Jewish? Never trust anyone with two first names!

  • Ethel
    February 24, 2010 - 5:09 pm | Permalink

    Never trust anyone with two first names unless they are southern.

  • Steve Olsen
    February 25, 2010 - 10:23 pm | Permalink

    But would totally smooch some poozle if her boyfriend thought it was hot!

  • Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

    You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>