Time For Mitch McConnell to Get a New Hobby


McConnell realizes he can count to two.

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) famously declared that the most important goal of the Republican party for the past few years was to make Barack Obama a one-term president.

But even after tirelessly obstructing each and every initiative put forward by the president; and with the economy improving despite every Republican attempt — including having rightwing CEOs threaten their employees that they would cut jobs if Obama won — to keep it in the Bush recession; and causing such inertia in Congress that its approval numbers nearly imperil democracy…even after all this, McConnell failed in his number one goal.

So with your help, we’d like to develop some new goals for Mitch. Please leave your suggestions in the comments.

  • Have surgery to remove turtle chin
  • Read a book on how to govern, and what the point of being in the Senate is
  • Announce you will not run for re-election in 2014
  • Announce that you will retire early to spend more time with your family
  • Announce that you are actually stepping down today and then go back to your old Kentucky home and never be heard from again

3 Responses »

  1. Jon November 7, 2012 @ 8:09 am

    Submit to a second face transplant. It couldn’t be worse than the current botched job.

  2. gale January 4, 2013 @ 8:08 am

    Join a Civil War reenactment group

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