For a while we thought Lance Armstrong was a stand-up guy,
But it turns out he was a con man with a compulsion to lie.
So when he talks to Oprah
The inveterate doper
Had better not have the unmitigated gall to cry.
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Here’s one from the archives:
Lord, save us from the Islamists,
And while you’re at it, the Christianists.
And save us from the Jews
And the holy rollers, too,
For we are humble zealot-fearing atheists, Amen.