Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum tried to meld their abilities.
They thought together on a ticket they could beat Mitt Romney.
But they couldn’t quit the argument
Over which one would be the president —
See, the only thing missing from their unity ticket was … unity.
Republicans have never been known as environmentalists
As much as they have as bigots, bastards and bigamists.
But when it comes to climate change,
They’re starting to sound deranged,
Standing in line and chanting, “I am not a scientist!”