Author Archives: Trish Ponder

Hillary? On “Between Two Ferns,” Just Call Her “Hillary-ous!”

Both of these people are truly funny.

Rubio Says Women Don’t Need the ERA

Good news, ladies! You might not have noticed it, but your rights in America are totally equal. Your protections are the same as men. Discrimination based on gender is over. Feels good, huh?

Apparently that’s what Sen. Marco Rubio thinks. When he was asked at a rally before he quit his race for president earlier this year if he would support the Equal Rights Amendment, Rubio guffawed. “That old thing?” he seemed to say in a newly released video. “That’s so 1979!”

In fact, efforts continue to this day to enshrine equal protection of rights for women in the United States Constitution.

Now Rubio is back in Florida, running for the U.S. Senate seat he virtually abandoned because he was so convinced America would elect him their president in November. Yet even as he campaigns, he won’t commit to serving the full term, lest he again decide America wants him more than Florida does. How Rubio has any support in his state, and any votes among those of us paying pink taxes is a mystery.

When It Comes to Trump, Little Marco Might Be Sore But He’s Also a Whore

“Little Marco,” as Trump christened him during the debates, stands by his assessment of Trump as “a con man,” but he says we should put him in the White House anyway. That astonishing position reveals more about Rubio’s fitness for office than it does about Trump’s.

— Columnist and author Carl Hiaasen, explaining the awkwardness of the Republican custom of disavowing Donald Trump while continuing to endorse him.

But Mostly Taxidermy

It’s a very complicated subject…It’s some mysterious triumph of lacquering and weaving and taxidermy that really cannot be understood.

— Comic strip artist Garry Trudeau, describing Donald Trump’s hair, and his depiction thereof in his cartoon, “Doonesbury.”

Drive-By Truckers: You Don’t See Too Many White Kids Lying Bleeding on the Street

Republicans Need a New Drunk Guy

“You can keep moving people in and out of the car, but so long as the drunk guy is driving it while blindfolded, the ride probably isn’t going to get any smoother.”

— Anonymous Virginia Republican member of the Politico Caucus, “a panel of activists, strategists and operatives in 11 key battleground states,” commenting on Donald Trump’s latest campaign staff overhaul.

Rubio’s $80 Million Senate Seat

$80 million

The amount the campaigns expect to spend in the race for U.S. Sen. Marco Rubio’s (R-Fla.) seat. Both frontrunners, Rubio and U.S. Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-Fla.) have stopped advertising in Aug. 30 primary races, saving their money for the big one. The spend will likely be evenly divided, with both Rubio and Murphy coughing up $40 million.

Twitter Peeps Educate Trump on Sacrifice

TrumpLaughs

After Khizr Khan, accompanied by his wife, Ghazala, declared at the 2016 Democratic National Convention that Donald Trump has, “sacrificed nothing and no one,” the world took note. That’s because the Khans lost their son, U.S. Army Capt. Humayun Khan, while he fought in Iraq in 2004.

Trump’s response was two-fold. First, in an interview with ABC’s George Stephanopoulos, he criticized the Gold Star mother for not joining her husband in speaking and implied that Muslim women aren’t allowed to do so. Then he said he does indeed understand the concept of personal sacrifice.

Pressed by Stephanopoulos to name the sacrifices he’d made for his country, Trump said: “I think I’ve made a lot of sacrifices. I work very, very hard. I’ve created thousands and thousands of jobs, tens of thousands of jobs, built great structures. I’ve had tremendous success. I think I’ve done a lot.”

People on Twitter took up Trump’s case and supplied their own examples of how Donald has given selflessly to our country, using the hashtag #TrumpSacrifices. Here are some of our favorites.

  • @AngryBlackLady
    Wore a suit and tie, not a robe and hood to the RNC. #TrumpSacrifices
  • read more »

This Anti-Trump Ad Might be the Best One Yet

Most of the anti-Trump ads I’ve seen miss the mark, for me anyway. As I watch, I never think, “Now THIS will sway the people who really hate Hillary, and make them vote for her despite their objections.” And this spot, made by the founders of ad agency Goodby Silverstein & Partners, Jeff Goodby and Rich Silverstein, doesn’t either. But it comes close.

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13 Percent Choose “Giant Meteor” Over Trump or Clinton

meteor

A recent Public Policy Poll gave respondents a way around either of the major parties’ presumptive nominees for president.

The third option offered over Donald Trump (R-Egomaniacal Nutjob) or Hillary Clinton (D-…well, you know) was Giant Meteor Hitting the Earth.

And Giant Meteor Hitting the Earth took 13 percent.

Here was the exact question:

If the choices for President were Democrat Hillary Clinton, Republican Donald Trump, and a Giant Meteor hitting the earth which would you choose?

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