FiveThirtyEight asked former Republican speechwriter Barton Swaim to write a ?totally pandering stump speech for an imaginary GOP presidential candidate. If you’d like to see the version with Swaim’s annotations, go here. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Who’s ready to stand up for America? [applause] Who’s ready to take this country back? [applause] Who’s […]
With an “It’s not my time,” Bobby Jindal’s outta there,
After his quixotic presidential climb went nowhere.
You’d have to be a psychotic pollyanna
To want for the nation what he did for Louisiana.
Asked who he’d endorse, Jindal said, “I don’t think people care.”