The Supreme Court’s interpretations are increasingly sly:
If a candidate’s for sale, then corporations can buy.
If that got you vexed,
Just look at what’s next:
Candidates have a First Amendment–protected right to lie!
Wisconsin Republicans support their state’s right to secede.
They say the 10th Amendment says they can, if they please.
But if they give the 49 the axe,
They’ll have to charge import/export tax,
And who’s going to pay extra for regular old Wisconsin cheese?
And we thought the Citizens United ruling was a curse!
Thanks to SCOTUS, campaign funding’s gone from bad to worse,
Now the justices preach
That money equals speech,
But it’s the politicians who must pander to the power of the purse.
Republican politics continue to flow and ebb,
With Chris Christy caught in a scandalous web.
Rand Paul’s quick ascension
Is causing some consternation,
Leading GOP leaders to double down on recruiting Jeb.
Sometimes politicians seem to know not what they say.
His opponent has put Lindsay Graham’s sexuality in play.
Candidate Dave Feliciano
Would like us all to know
That incumbent Senator Graham is definitively “ambiguously gay.”
Ukrainian rioters woke up the sleeping bear, it’s true,
So Putin invades Crimea and whatever else he wants to do.
But Obama’s moving slow,
Taught by “The Big Lebowski,” he knows:
“Some days you et the bar and some days the bar ets you.”
Pussy Riot’s not one of my favorite musical acts,
But I’m not sure they deserve such violent attacks.
Only in Russia could they have perfected
Such an esoteric corrective —
Being beaten with horsewhips … by Cossacks.
When the car next door’s music’s real loud, it’s no fun.
But for some people it can be too much, like Michael Dunn.
For him, the best volume control
That has ever been sold
Is an easy-to-operate mechanism called a gun.