Category Archives: Poetic Justice

The Bum’s a Simulacrum!

It’s hard for Trump to visit Mar-a-Lago or Bedminster,
So he bought a golf simulator so his game doesn’t wither.
His swing he refines
During Executive Time,
While simultaneously playing on his presidency simulator.

Commander-in-Thief

All hail Donald Trump, the Commander-in-Thief!
He found a way around emergency declaration grief.
He’ll grab some money
From the U.S. Army,
And steal the rest from California and Puerto Rico disaster relief.

Putin’s Pushing Tulsi

Vladimir Putin’s propaganda machine may be beaten and battered,
But it still has a sabre to rattle in its scabbard.
But this time it’s not Trump
The Kremlin’s seeking to pump up —
Its election-meddling websites favor Hawaii’s Dem, Tulsi Gabbard.

Trump’s Leverage Lost

Yesterday, six GOP senators decided to flip —
And voted to end the shutdown and brinkmanship.
Leaving Trump with no leverage
And bad media coverage,
And a base about ready to give him a pink slip.

Call the Photoshop Cops!

We know Donald Trump considers himself a winner,
Which is why he always has steak and taters for dinner.
But on Instagram and Twitter
He’s suddenly looking fitter,
In retouched photos, his fingers got longer and his figure, thinner.

Dosvedonya, Comrade Donald

Is “Comrade Trump” Vladimir Putin’s creation,
A Manchurian president set to destroy our nation?
Whenever they met
Did Trump say “Da,” not “Nyet?”
If so, we can only wonder what was lost in translation.

Crisis of Consciousness

Trump’s Oval Office address, as a ploy, was bold,
Though he looked low-energy, constipated and old.
The language was Stephen Miller’s,
And the rhetoric was killer —
But really, Trump’s actually having a “crisis of the heart, a crisis of the soul?”

Bolton Gets Turked

Trump dispatched Bolton to Turkey, all hopeful,
That he could mansplain Trump’s Syrian “withdrawal.”
But Erdogan, alas,
Gave Bolton a pass,
To remind Trump that it’s Istanbul, not Constantinople!

All Bollocks, No Strike

Trump has rescinded his appointees’ pay hike,
And there won’t be a raise for Vice President Mike.
But to the 800k
Who are getting no pay,
Trump’s message: It’s not a shutdown, it’s a strike!

Bannon Banned (Again)

Steve Bannon’s no longer calling important shots,
And his invitations to speak usually end in boycotts.
His latest speaking brouhaha
Came from the University of Montana,
Which canceled Bannon’s keynote at a conference on sex robots.