In Washington, D.C., one night,
Eric Massa said he’d show us the sights.
Of course, we were hoping
For some nonsexual groping
And the Friday night tickle fights.

With the truth the network is reckless,
With the facts the network is feckless.
But still I might choose
To go there for my news,
If Fox News Channel was Beck-less.

With Tennessee politics Harold was bored.
So he moved to a swank New York ward.
Then he met with Karl Rove
To discuss a Republican move.
Personally, I’d rather drive a Toyota than a Ford.

Roy Ashburn, he never flaunted it.
But leaving a gay club he got caught at it.
He still claims that it pays,
To go bashing gays.
But only if your constituents wanted it.

It’s an idea I’m really not sold on,
Besides, Katie Couric already did one.
I’ll skip The Early Show
‘Cause I don’t need to know
The inside of Harry Smith’s colon.

While watching the academy awards,
The elegantly coiffed beaux and broads,
I wasn’t excited,
Or thrilled or delighted.
I was just so incredibly — bored.

The 49th state soon we’ll see
Featured on a reality TV.
The ratings won’t fail ‘em
‘Cause they’ve got a Palin —
Que Sarah, Sarah, what will be will be.

Now the ethics committee’s left Rangel
At the end of his rope there to dangle.
It gets really complicated
When your conscience gets sublimated,
And your ethics get all in a tangle.

Though for Republicans “No!” is the norm,
And backing Barack is bad form,
Let’s hold a summit
And thoroughly gum it,
And get us some health care reform.

He’s not nearly as cool as Coolio,
And not as Hispanic as Julio.
But when tasked at the CPACs
George Bush had to ask,
“Who the hell is Marco Rubio?”