Tag Archives: Arizona

Verbatim

More Proof Arizona Is the Dumbest State

“The idea that we force someone to give up their liberty for the sake of the collective is not based on American values but rather, Communist.”

— Arizona state Rep. Kelly Townsend (R), quoted by the Arizona Republic, arguing against mandatory vaccinations. She signed her Facebook post “live free or die.”

Verbatim

A Concise Explanation of Arizona

“The states are the laboratories of democracy. And my state, Arizona, is clearly the meth lab of democracy.”

— Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ), speaking at Netroots Nation in 2010.

Enumerati

AZ Republicans Split on Who Should Replace Flake

32% to 29%

A new Data Orbital poll of likely Republican Senate primary voters in Arizona found 32% either definitely or probably voting for Kelli Ward (R), compared to 29% who said they were definitely or probably not voting for her. Another 34% said it would depend on who gets in the race and 5% refused to answer.

Verbatim

Arizona Republic Endorses Clinton

Clinton retains her composure under pressure. She’s tough. She doesn’t back down. Trump responds to criticism with the petulance of verbal spit wads. That’s beneath our national dignity. When the president of the United States speaks, the world expects substance. Not a blistering tweet.

— The Arizona Republic, endorsing a Democrat for the first time since the newspaper’s founding in 1890.

Enumerati

Lots of Arizonans Burned an Early Vote for Rubio

16%

Of Arizona early voters cast ballots for Marco Rubio, according to an MBQF Consulting poll taken last week. Washington Examiner: “As of last Wednesday afternoon, at least a quarter million registered Republicans had already voted in Arizona, taking advantage of the state’s 26-day early voting period. Based on the timeline, this means those 250,000 Arizona Republicans all voted without knowing Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) would no longer be a candidate by election day.” By our math, that’s about 40,000 votes Ted Cruz won’t get.

Verbatim

Arizona Lawmaker Wants to Force Americans to Attend Church

Probably we should be debating a bill requiring every American to attend a church of their choice on Sunday to see if we can get back to having a moral rebirth.

— Arizona state State Sen. Sylvia Allen (R), raising the possibility of requiring church attendance for every American, the Arizona Republic reports. Allen added that she wished things were more like they were in the 1950s: “People prayed, people went to church. I remember on Sundays the stores were closed. The biggest thing is religion was kicked out of our public places, out of our schools.”

Verbatim

Pastor Welcomes Endorsement by Strip Club

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

— Rev. Jarrett Maupin, Democratic candidate for Congress from Arizona, accepting the endorsement of a Phoenix strip club called the Great Alaskan Bush Co., the Arizona Republic reports.

Verbatim

McCain: Lethal Injection Should Be Lethal

The lethal injection needs to be an indeed lethal injection and not the bollocks-upped situation that just prevailed. That’s torture.

— Sen. John McCain (R-AZ), quoted by Politico.

News & Comment

Jon Stewart Skewers Arizona’s Attempt to Legalize Anti-Gay Discrimination

As Andy Borowitz put it on Facebook:

Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer today reflected on her decision to veto the state’s anti-gay law: “The decision was a no-brainer, which is why I was capable of making it

Poetic Justice

Right to Left

The Arizona GOP did just proclaim
Him on Goldwater’s legacy, a stain.
They said they are sure
He deserves their censure,
That lefty, loopy liberal, John McCain.