Tag Archives: Colbert Report

Verbatim

Colbert Says Trump Does a Better ‘Colbert’ than Colbert

He’s completely playing on an emotional level – and so beautifully. I mean, it’s one of the reasons why I just can’t do that old character anymore, because he’s doing it better than I ever could, because he’s willing to drink his own Kool Aid and manufacture and distribute it, because he’s got all the cash. … I’m not the first person to say this, but I completely agree that he’s my old character with $10 billion.

— Stephen Colbert, saying Donald Trump is playing his old character better than he ever could, The Hill reports.

News & Comment

It’s Amazon’s World and We Just Live in It

I wanted to buy a book a few months ago for a relative who was hospitalized in a city about 40 miles north and who wasn’t a TV watcher. I figured I’d stop off at the mall or a shopping center as I drove up and pick up some books and magazines.

Except there were no bookstores. While I had been floating along, ordering books from Amazon because they were cheap or putting them on my Amazon wish list and waiting for the prices to come down, book shops all around me were going out of business. Instead of finding some cool books and artsy, interesting magazines, I had to stop at a grocery store to buy a lame edition of O Magazine by Oprah. I believe it went unread.

Your reading choices will someday be either 50 Shades of Gray or The Hunger Games…or a copy of O Magazine

If you watch the Colbert Report, you know that the responsible thing to do right now is to boycott Amazon. The massive “Don’t Be Evil” online seller is engaged in a very evil battle with traditional publishers to control pricing and set off a dumbing down process that will likely promote self-publishing as an Amazon work-around.

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News & Comment

Sanity and Fear Will Collide in Washington Events

RallySanityWatchers of the Daily Show and the Colbert Report know about the “competing” rallies planned in Washington on Halloween weekend, a couple of days before the midterm elections. Jon Stewart’s Rally to Restore Sanity seems to be beating out Stephen Colbert’s March to Keep Fear Alive in the Facebook fans department.

On the Rally to Restore Sanity Facebook page, there is an open challenge to come up with 25 things that would not help restore sanity at the event. Among the suggestions:

  • Talking about the miracle of the size of the crowd
  • Wearing a McCain/Palin 2008 campaign button
  • Wearing the American flag as an article of clothing or an accessory
  • Bringing small rugs, turning toward FOX “News” and praying six times during the rally
  • Safety pinning copies of our birth certificates to our chests
  • Starting a movement to change the National Anthem to “The Thong Song” because “The Star Spangled Banner” is anti-colonialist
  • Inviting a local coven to provide insight on the Delaware Senate race
  • Have speeches fact-checked by Andrew Breitbart

There’s also a call for slogans for hand-painted signs but so far, the results are more earnest than funny. Among the better submissions are, “FOX–the only network where you are dumber after you watch it,” and “Sarah Palin is proof you’ll never go poor appealing to the lowest common denominator.”

Can you do better? Share your suggestion for either category in the comments.