Tag Archives: Florida stupidity

Enumerati

Three Out of Five Floridians Flunk Written Driver License Test

3 out of 5

Floridians are flunking the state’s new written driver license test. “State officials expected some applicants would have trouble adjusting to a new written test implemented in January but acknowledge it erupted into an unexpected problem when they discovered more than 80 percent of drivers in some counties were unable to pass,” reports the Tampa Bay Times.

Poetic Justice

A Floridian’s Lament

Legislators are wrapping it up in Tallahassee,
And for 60 days they’ve been kept mighty busy.
But between higher speed limits
And arming Cracker dimwits,
Somehow I feel my lawmakers are just out to kill me.

News & Comment

Miami Lawmaker Wants to Protect Floridians Against a Zombie Apocalypse

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times: I’m thankful that the Florida legislature only convenes 60 days a year — think of the mischief lawmakers could do if they were in session more than two months!

Fortunately, the 2014 session thankfully ends tomorrow. But the mischief ain’t done yet.

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Verbatim

SNL Lambasts Florida Newspaper for Using Amateur Proofreaders

A Florida newspaper is inviting readers to volunteer as proofreaders for three hours a night, with the person catching the most typos winning a free dinner. But you’re going to need more than three hours to find all the typos in the Flurdah Son Tims.

— Seth Myers, on “Saturday Night Live Weekend Update.”