Tag Archives: Michael Cohen

Poetic Justice

Buryin’ the Cohen

Man, Donald Trump is pissed at Michael Cohen
For violating the trust that Trump thinks Cohen owes him.
First Mike records his calls,
And then has the unmitigated balls
To give the tape to Trump’s media archenemy, CNN.

Enumerati

FBI Seized More than 100 Cohen Recordings

+100

The Washington Post reports that the FBI “has seized more than 100 recordings that Michael Cohen made of his conversations with people discussing matters that could relate to Trump and his businesses and with Trump himself talking.”

Enumerati

Cohen Buys Multimillion Apartment from Trump Friends

$6.7 million

President Trump’s former personal attorney, Michael Cohen, has purchased a $6.7 million apartment in New York City in a building that is being developed by two of Trump’s friends, the Wall Street Journal reports.

Enumerati

Ukraine Paid Cohen for Access to Trump

$400,000

Michael Cohen “received a secret payment of at least $400,000 to fix talks between the Ukrainian president and President Trump,” sources in Kiev close tell the BBC. “The payment was arranged by intermediaries acting for Ukraine’s leader, Petro Poroshenko, the sources said, though Cohen was not registered as a representative of Ukraine as required by US law.”

Verbatim

Stone: Trump Didn’t View Cohen as a ‘Political Genius’

“I don’t think the president regarded him as a political genius or was open to his desires in that area. And he had a tendency to discount any political advice that Michael would give him.”

— Roger Stone, on Meet the Press, about President Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael Cohen.

Enumerati

Cohen Had 16 Phones

16

Manhattan federal prosecutors seized as many as 16 cell phones when the FBI raided the home, office and hotel room of President Trump’s personal lawyer Michael Cohen, the New York Post reports.

Poetic Justice

Mike Cohen’s Motivation

That Michael Cohen will flip is foregone and a given,
Because he keeps having a recurring, horrifying vision:
What Mike Cohen doesn’t want to be
Is the “Sweetheart of Cellblock C,”
And he’ll say and do anything to stay out of prison.

Verbatim

Cohen’s Fear of Prison Will Make Him Flip on Trump

“He’s not suited to stand up to the rigors of jail life… Michael doesn’t see himself walking down Broadway while people are clamoring, ‘you’re going to be my wife.’”

— Longtime Trump legal adviser Jay Goldberg, telling CNN that he’s thinks Michael Cohen will turn on President Trump and cooperate with federal prosecutors because he’s worried about getting raped in prison.

Verbatim

Cohen Whines to Get His ‘Stuff Back’

“I just want my stuff back.”

— Trump lawyer Michael Cohen, quoted by the Daily Beast, after FBI agents raided his home and office.