Tag Archives: Rand Paul

Poetic Justice

His Nibs’ Ribs

We’re accustomed to Rand Paul, the Libertarian jackanape,
And many’s the time we’ve been tempted to crack his adamantine pate.
But in a spat with his neighbor,
Rand’s ribs were belabored.
Not over politics, but in a trivial dispute over landscape.

Verbatim

Rand Paul and the Second Amendment

“Why do we have a Second Amendment? It’s not to shoot deer. It’s to shoot at the government when it becomes tyrannical!”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), on Twitter, June 23, 2016.

Verbatim

Paul: Trump Needs Congressional Authorization for Military Action

“While we all condemn the atrocities in Syria, the United States was not attacked. The President needs congressional authorization for military action as required by the Constitution, and I call on him to come to Congress for a proper debate. Our prior interventions in this region have done nothing to make us safer, and Syria will be no different.”

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), quoted by The Hill, after the U.S. launched airstrikes in Syria.

Poetic Justice

Charge of the Lightweight Brigade

Rand Paul just mounted an invasion
With media alerted to the occasion.
He charged ‘cross the Hill
To wrest free the Obamacare bill,
But ’twas gone — though Rand Paul was not chastened.

Verbatim

Rand Paul Has Reservations About Bolton, Giuliani

I will tell you something I haven’t told anybody else. I’ve had some conversation with some other Republican senators and I’m not the only one with some misgivings over both Giuliani and Bolton. And I haven’t met a Democrat that’s for either one of them. But I’ve met several Republicans that aren’t.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), in an interview on Hardball, on who might be the next Secretary of State.

Poetic Justice

Paul’s Last Call

His libertarian positions just never gained traction,
And his poll numbers could be measured in fractions.
He made his stand
In the shadow of Ayn Rand,
But now Rand Paul’s toupee is out of campaign action.

Verbatim

Paul Says Christie Should Resign Governorship

He may not even be a resident, never mind governor.

— Sen. Rand Paul, saying that Gov. Chris Christie should resign his office “because he has spent more than 200 days outside his state yet is campaigning for president based on his experience as a governor,” Politico reports.

Enumerati

Rand Paul Seeks to Buy an Election in Kentucky

$250,000

Amount Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) has transferred to the Republican Party of Kentucky “as a down payment on the presidential caucuses he has asked the party to conduct in March,” the Lexington Herald Leader reports. “Paul is seeking the party’s help in bypassing a state law that prohibits him from running for president and for re-election to his Senate seat on the same ballot next year. He wrote to the party’s state central committee, which has nearly 350 members, in an effort to quell concern about the cost of a caucus.”

Verbatim

Rand Paul’s Economic Theory Sounds Like Every Other Republican’s

The thing is, income inequality is due to some people working harder and selling more things. If people voluntarily buy more of your stuff, you’ll have more money.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY), responding when asked if his flat tax plan would further separate the haves from the have-nots, Paul said that income inequality is the result of some Americans working harder than others, rather than economic policies, the Huffington Post reports.

Verbatim

Paul Attributes Trump’s Rise in Polls to ‘Loss of Sanity’

I think this is a temporary sort of loss of sanity, but we’re going to come back to our senses and look for someone serious to lead the country at some point.

— Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) is attributing GOP presidential rival Donald Trump’s rise in the polls to a momentary “loss of sanity,” The Hill reports.