Tag Archives: Rick Perry

Poetic Justice

All Hat, No Brain

Rick Perry is dumb, but it’s not his fault,
And he blends right in with the GOP gestalt.
But Rick sounds like a super-moron,
When he says that by keeping the lights on,
Fossil fuels actually can prevent sexual assault.


Perry Says Fossil Fuels Can Prevent Sexual Assault

“But also from the standpoint of sexual assault, when the lights are on, when you have light that shines, the righteousness, if you will, on those types of acts. So from the standpoint of how you really affect people’s lives, fossil fuels is going to play a role in that. I happen to think it’s going to play a positive role.”

— Energy Secretary Rick Perry, claiming that fossil fuels can help prevent sexual assault, NBC News reports.

Poetic Justice

All Hat, No Brains

In Texas Rick Perry’s still popular,
In Trump’s cabinet, he’ll just be titular.
At the Energy Department
He’ll need some comportment,
And he’ll have to stop pronouncing it “nu-cu-lar.”


Perry Is Doing DWTS for the Dance Lessons

My daughter’s getting married in October, and I figured if I did the show, I’d at least not embarrass her when we did the father-daughter dance.

— Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry, quoted by the Texas Tribune, on why he agreed to appear on “Dancing with the Stars.”


Perry Willing to Be Trump’s Veep

I suspect I’m going to be helping him in a myriad ways — but if it’s the vice presidency, if a cabinet position is where he needs somebody with my experience then I’m not going to go back to Texas and say, ‘Aw shucks sir, I’m gonna go fishing.’ I’m gonna go serve my country.

— Former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R), who once called Donald Trump “a cancer on conservatism,” told CNN that he would be willing to serve as the presumptive Republican nominee’s vice president.

Poetic Justice

Rick Perry, Diplomat

As Rick Perry’s place in the polls recedes,
It’s time to drop out of the race, he concedes.
But he seems imminently fit
For an ambassadorship,
When Texas, inevitably, secedes.


Perry Denies Trump’s Assertion He’s Out of the Race

The bottom line is I’m still here, I’m still working, and we need to be talking about solutions and not just rhetoric out there.

— Rick Perry, denying Donald Trump’s assertion that he was bowing out of the Republican race, oddly remarking that “a broken clock is right once a day,” Politico reports.


Rick Perry Has No Campaign Personnel in New Hampshire


Number of campaign representatives Rick Perry has in New Hampshire, WMUR reports. Veteran strategist Michael Dennehy said that “while he still considers himself a strong supporter of the Republican presidential candidate, he no longer considers himself an advisor to the campaign. He said he has not been paid by the campaign since June and has not heard from Perry or anyone from Perry’s national campaign for the past month.”


Perry Campaign Down to One Staffer in Iowa


Number of staff left on the Rick Perry campaign in Iowa: “The Republican from Texas has whittled his staff in Iowa to one paid operative amid continuing fund-raising struggles … Mr. Perry led in the polls for a stretch during his first presidential bid four years ago. He spent significant time boning up on foreign policy and getting himself in physical shape for the grinds of the campaign trail,” the New York Times reports.


Perry Advocates Dinner, a Movie and a Handgun

These concepts of gun-free zones are a bad idea. I think that you allow the citizens of this country — who have been appropriately trained, appropriately backgrounded, know how to handle and use firearms — to carry them. I believe that, with all my heart, that if you have the citizens who are well trained, and particularly in these places that are considered to be gun-free zones, that we can stop that type of activity, or stop it before there’s as many people that are impacted as what we saw in Lafayette.

— Rick Perry (R), telling CNN that if people could bring their guns to the movies, they could prevent the movie theater shootings.